My childhood wasn’t a bad childhood. My parents always made
sure that my two brothers and I had what we needed. We moved a lot. I feel like
we lived all over Utah, but in reality it was just around the Salt Lake area.
We even lived with both of my grandparents at some point. When I finally
noticed that we were settling in a spot, we were living in Fairview, Utah. A
small town in Sanpete County, about an hour from Spanish Fork.
I started first grade and loved it. My parents had started
their own Italian restaurant, called The Tomato Garden. My family spent a lot
of time there. My brother’s and I had our own little area in the basement where
we would play and do homework. It seemed like we were only home to sleep.
Second and third grade came and went. Still living in the
restaurant. Doing parades and making our own pizzas. It seemed as though when I
entered fourth grade, that’s when I noticed my parents weren’t doing great. I
remember a particular day like it was yesterday……
My family and I were on our way to go have a family game
night at my mom’s cousin’s house, just a few blocks away. I was so excited.
Then all of a sudden, my parents stared arguing. My dad turned the truck around
and my parents went into the house, leaving us three kids in the truck. We
could hear them yelling from inside the house. I don’t remember how long we sat
in the truck before one of us decided to go in. I do remember making a plan of
what to say to them when I went in. I debated between a few things and finally
chose one to say. Went inside, they’re still yelling. I said, “Can I say
something?” The both replied, “Yes, you may.” I was nervous. Then I said
exactly what I didn’t want to say, “I don’t want you guys to get a divorce!”
and I started to cry. The next thing I heard was my mom say, “Honey, we won’t
get a divorce. Mom and dad are just a little upset right now,” and she gave me
a hug.
A few weeks went by. My parents had lost the restaurant and
my dad found a new job in Price, Utah. He worked graveyards and the only time
that we saw him was when we would wake him up to eat dinner with us. I remember
calling his pager just to have a minute to talk to him. Next thing I knew, my
dad was moving to Helper, Utah, just 3 miles from Price. Next, my dad was
seeing someone new, and so was my mom. I was devastated!! I didn’t know what
was going on.
My mom had finally moved us to Price to be closer to my dad.
I hated this new situation we had going on. I didn’t want to have to choose
between my mom or dad. I always felt stuck between them. I was always the
middle man; in the middle of their issues with each other. I had lived with my
mom most of the time and then one day, she left to go to California with her,
then, boyfriend. We were at my dad’s when she left. It was hard, being the only
girl. I needed my mom in that moment. Going through all the girl stuff and not
having her there to help me. I became like a mother to my brother’s. I woke
them up for school, did their laundry, cleaned the house, and made them dinner.
I did all this while I was in sixth and seventh grade.
My dad found a great woman, that he later married. She
became my best friend and I love my step-mom like my own mother. It was hard
getting used to having someone in the house to cook dinner and do laundry that
wasn’t me.
But I look back on all of this, and I know that I am a
better mother than my own because I don’t want to be like her. I want to be
there for my kids. I do have somewhat of a relationship with my mom but I
hardly see her and hardly talk to her.
I do have to say, divorce is a hard thing to go through and
I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy. It tears people apart. My husband and I
have had hard times and it seems as though divorce would just be an easy thing
to do. I’m sure it is but not on kids. I don’t want them to go through what I
had to go through.
These are my kids!
This is my beautiful little family, whom I love with everything that I am.
